Running for Love
Running for Love
It was a brisk 20 degrees for the Madison Marathon last Sunday morning, as we jostled with other spectators waiting to see their loved ones start the race. I worried that we wouldn’t be able to pick Ethan, my grandson, out among the 7,600 participants. But we did. Spotting him in a long-sleeved blue shirt, he sailed past us unaware of our excited encouragement. We couldn’t even hear ourselves over the deafening roar of the crowd. This was his first marathon. We were there to cheer him on and hoped he’d cross the finish line!
The death of Ethan’s sister, Helena, had motivated him to begin this journey. It made him understand how short life can be. It reminded him of his bucket list, which included running a marathon.
Ethan didn’t want to let depression keep him on the couch. Rather than running away from grief, he has used running as a healthy way to deal with the loss of his sister. Grief was his motivation, and running calmed his mind.
Ethan and Helena were both on the cross-country and track teams in high school until it became too difficult for Helena due to her cystic fibrosis. Ethan had health challenges as well. He spent his senior year in and out of the Children’s Hospital with severe ulcerative colitis, which is hard for anyone, but especially for a teen among his peers. And, at a lanky 6 feet 4 inches, he’s vulnerable to laxity in his knee joints, which can cause ligament sprains.
A self-proclaimed introvert, Ethan had enjoyed the encouragement when the crowd cheered him on at track meets. Participating in track led to new friendships and made him more outgoing. But, he said, “Running as an adult feels different. I’m able to space out and let my mind clear, giving me a mental reset. When I finish running, I’m more productive and at peace.”
When Ethan signed up for the Madison Marathon, he went into it knowing three things: he was determined to finish, it would be his only marathon, and he would wear the T-shirt designed for the annual Milwaukee Great Strides walk for cystic fibrosis, which his family participated in every year. Their team name was Helena’s Hope.
After seeing him at the start, Dane and I drove to the 16-mile mark. The sun had come out, raising the temperature to 32 degrees. There was Ethan, easier to see in his blue shirt as the runners had thinned out. He’d already doffed his sweatpants and, when he saw us, he pumped his arms up and down in greeting. “Only 10 more miles to go,” we yelled.
As we drove from the 16-mile mark to the finish line, we wondered where Ethan was along the lakefront route, how his knee was holding up, and if he’d be able to hang in there and finish. Running 26 miles is a lofty goal.
Finding a place to stand along the finish line where we could see Ethan coming was challenging. Everyone else had the same idea. But once we settled in as close as we could, our full attention was on trying to spot him. Dane was going to take a video of Ethan finishing, and I was going to snap pictures.
The course took the runners around Lake Monona and the University of Wisconsin’s Arboretum before heading back to the Capitol. Around the 23-mile mark, Ethan had doubts about completing the race. He felt stabbing pain in his knee, and his quads were on fire.
He stopped. He needed to refuel and stretch. Meanwhile, his dad, thinking that Ethan was taking longer than expected to round the corner, had jogged back to see his son at the 25-mile mark. “I told him 'you've got this' and kept saying, ‘The finish line is right up there.’ I ran next to him for a bit, but I think just seeing me picked up his spirits.”
Ethan peeled off his blue shirt. Underneath was his Helena’s Hope T-shirt. He placed his hand on his chest, looked skyward—and didn’t give up.
Not long after, he came down the home stretch to cheers from strangers and family. Watching for his blue shirt, we didn’t even spot him until he was past us!
Two days later, on his 27th birthday, Ethan’s hobbling around. He no longer says “one and done,” but he may stick to half-marathons for a while.
His grief at the loss of Helena may have been his motivation, but his love for her is what carried him over the finish line.
