A New Journey

A New Journey

The day before our wedding, I called Dane to see how many words his vows were. “120 words,” he answered.

Mine were already over 900! I got busy cutting, and Dane got busy doing whatever grooms do the day before their wedding.

My daughter, Jessica, was here to help me with wedding errands and to celebrate her 49th birthday. We went for manicures and pedicures, then out to eat, and picked up my wedding outfit. Back at my place, we hung it on the shower curtain and I put a note on the door: “Stay out. This means you, Dane!” He and I had agreed on a few simple traditions: to separately write our own vows, not to show or tell him what I’d be wearing, and not to see each other before the ceremony on the day of the wedding.

We’d done our homework: programs and complimentary bookmarks were designed and printed, Dane had assembled the books that had brought us together, and the cobalt blue vases we’d collected for over a year were on the tables at Sittin’ Pretty Farm, filled with gorgeous flowers.

I had put together a slide show of our 19 years together, including our first two years of “non-dating” when I was reluctant to commit to the idea of actually dating. The Jaynes family had prepared a wonderful charcuterie spread, while professional photographer friend Richard and his wife Valorie had set up shop to take pictures. Steve, the proprietor of Sittin’ Pretty, was cooking up a storm, and Laura had delivered an assortment of individual cheesecakes.

On wedding day morning, I had time to lie on the back deck and read, although my focus was shot; Dane later mentioned he’d felt the same way.

As the ceremony was about to begin, I hid behind a window and watched the guests arrive.

Dane and I had created a cheat sheet for Kristina, our officiant. Right on cue, as Bob Dylan’s song “Buckets of Rain” started to play, my rat terrier Finnegan, sporting a tuxedo bandana, walked me down the aisle.

As Finn’s babysitter, Maureen, took him from me, Dane walked up the aisle to join me. Together we lit a candle in honor of our parents, my sister and brother, and my granddaughter Helena, who were deceased or unable to join us that day.

Kristina led everyone in reading a short wedding blessing written by James Dillet Freeman. Then Dane read the passage “On Marriage” from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet, and I read an excerpt from The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman.

When Kristina read us the declaration of intent, I answered, “I do,” and Dane answered, “I will.” Next Dane read me his vows, and although I told a story or two as I read him mine, I had trimmed it from 900 words to 256, while Dane’s had increased to 133.

Dane’s vows included these words: “I will work to create with you a marriage grounded in kindness and compassion toward one another, and together toward our fellow creatures, and to share in your sense of wonder at the large and small graces of this world.” He also used one of our favorite quotes from William Blake: “For every thing that lives is holy,” which we’d printed on the bookmarks for our guests.

When it was my turn, I shared a story from an early disastrous backpacking trip. We’d not only finished the trip but had plenty of laughs, a good sign that our relationship might work.

Then I slowed down and read Dane my vows, saying in part, “I love our shared faith in the holiness of all things, along with our mutual gratitude and respect for not only each other but all others.”

We kissed, and Kristina introduced us as Dane Thompson and Jane Thompson Schmidt. Our celebration song, “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles),” by The Proclaimers, blared out, and flash dancers popped out of the audience while Dane and I held hands for the first time as husband and wife.

But we weren’t quite done! In the receiving line afterwards, our friend Ron mentioned, “You forgot to exchange rings!” We’d had our rings made years ago and had of course brought them with us, but we’d accidently left that part off of Kristina’s cheat sheet! Those who were still in the receiving line watched as we placed the rings on each other’s fingers and kissed again.

Now, two days later, we’re getting ready to settle into our seats on the Empire Builder for our first train trip to Seattle, and begin the long, new journey of marriage.